Okay I am done with this website. I also got rid of my Tumblr and all my blogs that was with it. Why? Because no one pays attention to me on there anyway. My art goes un-noticed. I work days on simple pieces of work and not even my own fucking friends say anything. I am done on here for the same reasons. If my work does get noticed it's one of my shitty fucking fan-kids I made between two people because OMFG UR SO UNCREATIVE THIS CHARACTER SUCKS. Y U PULL OUT YER ASS PUT EFFORT INTO IT YOU DUMB ASS HOE BAG. Yeah, heaven forbid I play with shit like that and make a character based off two others. A character I will NEVER use because I just drew it out of boredom.
I hate everyone and I hate myself. I feel like I have no one to talk to about what I am going through. I don't want to stress my mom out, my friend has her own problems and the other person hates me and doesn't want shit to do with me anyway. Because she's got her own problems, she doesn't fucking have time for mine. I am apparently not worth her fucking time even though I was there for her for FOUR FUCKING YEARS. Yeah FUCK that I tried my absolute hardest to make her happy. Fuck the fact I was there for her when that other bitch wasn't. Fuck that I put everything aside to talk to her no matter what. Yeah sometimes I was busy, I was tryig to get my life on track. I am sorry I broke your heart, I was trying to do what was best for US and I was seriously going to get you back and hold onto you forever when no one could keep you away. But no Miss thng that had been trying to get you back the whole time we were together and afterward. Miss thing who lied "Im soooo over you" No She came and got you away.
I am pissed off at that yes. I hate her. I am sorry you know who you are I HATE YOU HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU.
I DESPISE YOU. I have tried to forgive you and live with you but i can't. After all I was the cause for some of your problems. Me looking out for you was bullshit. Yeah I stole her heart for a while, but you weren't there! I WAS I ALWAYS TRIED TO BE. I did every fucking thing could for her because I LOVED HER.
I loved someone more than anything in the world. I never saw the day we'd not be close and now look. She's got a brand new better person. Someone beautiful and talented. She is skilled in drawing, she is pretty, she is likeable, she's successful ad I am just plain old good od fashioned mediocre me.
It really sucks that she stopped talking to me a month after my birthday. Fuck you too. The sad thing is, I want to shake her and stap her and SCREAM at her, but I want to hug her and kiss her and hold her again. My life has gone to shit and I have no one. NO ONE here to help. Yeah sure people say "Hey Sarah, I'll always be there for you." I don't like just randomly messaging people saying "Hey I am angry all the time and depressed and pissed off" and then going on for hours hy I feel that way. I don't okay I just don't especially when we only really talk once or twice every week or two. I can't I am sorry I can't. I feel like I am a piece of shit I feel worthless.
I can't fucking do anything and everyone hates me. If no one does well it sure feels like it. You know whats sad? What's really motherfucking sad? "Who were you texting when I drove up?" Me: "Oh I wasn't exting, I was playing Solitaire."
Yeah I have no fucking life, hardly anyone talks to me, absolutely NO ONE visits me, comes to see me. No one messages me, nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing.
I practically have no friends. The ones I do have, only one talks to me every single day and guess what? SHE LIVED IN ENGLAND.
She never, NEVER has met me in person, she doesn't get to hug me and tell me "People suck sarah." No she does it all online. EVERY FUCKING DAY. She is the ONLY one that tlks to me EVERYDAY. I have people that may message me every now and then, but she's the ONLY one that does it EVERY FUCKING DAY. I appreciate the fuck out of her, because she's the ONLY reason I haven't given up on myself. She's the only one that gets me out of bed because she talks to me. I want to make sure she's doing good too. No I don't have romantic feelings for her, she's like my big sister, and she and my mom are my life support right now. They are the ONLY reasons why I am even here, the only reasons I haven't given into self harm. I have been tempted as fuck believe me. I have n purpose right now.
To my lost love: Fine, I'll take your stupid fucking advice. I will better myself and 'love' myself. Thanks for abandoning me. I need you more than ever, but hey, "You got your own problems to deal with." and "Don't know what else to do for me" because I am SOOOOOOOO past your help you know. I never EVER want to see you again. I have dreams sure, f you coming back to me. I don't fucking need you. Stay away from me if you get this because I don't want you coming in and making me feel worse. I DREAD seeing you because I KNOW when if I was to see you, I would have a panic attack that would land me in the fucking hospital.
I am done.
I hate people
I hate myself
I hate Everything and everyone.
I am deleting this account, not like anyone will care anyway.
This fucked up piece of shit is on a quest to "Learn to love herself" So I can "Be good at anything I do"
But with a heart of stone.
Good job world.
great motherfucking job.
And if this pisses anyone off
Too bad, I don't care anymore.
I hate someone just like everyone else does.
My reasons maybe stupid as shi but I do
I love someone and I will never stop loving her
but I never want to see her again.
Yeah right. What friends?
If people cared as much as they said they did I wouldn't be like this.
I have a valid reason for all my anger. I don't care if anyone agrees with it or not.